Life | Adam Chernow

Why does this feel like I’m making a stupid mistake?

Posted on July 18, 2011 by achernow

Tonight was one of those bad nights where I was bored, without the distraction of the internet because the internet here is slower than dial-up, I swear, and because of the fact that I was watching a video on the iPad while the MacBook was working on doing a house clean and maintenance because for some reason it’s going as slow as it possibly can and locking up at random and for no good reason right now.

Right now I’m in one of those states where I think this whole “quit my job and move to LA” thing is the stupidest move I’ve ever made….and I haven’t even left Madison yet. I’m walking away from a paycheck, with little money and massive student loan debts, to hope that I can make it in a city that eats people alive. And lest not forget that I don’t have a job lined up out there, I don’t have much of a network of friends and what not to help me find a job out there, and oh yeah, as of right now, I don’t even have a couch to crash on until I can find a job. And then of course, health insurance…it’s not 2014 yet, so I’m still on the hook for that myself. And I still need to figure out how to put my loans on hold for this. And there’s so much stuff to do. And it’s just frustrating.

I think the biggest problem with this, though, is the fact that I don’t have a job lined up. I don’t have something waiting for me. I’m venturing into the unknown and that’s extremely scary for me. Especially given the fact that the stupid heads in Washington D.C. are playing with fire and ready to plunge the nation back into a recession right as I’m going to be working my final days in Madison and getting ready to head out of here for good.

And then there’s the people here. I don’t have many friends here, but I have several GOOD friends here. People I feel bad about just saying “bye” to and leaving. And that includes the people in the spotter group, even though I disagree with a LOT of them on their politics. But yeah.

I just wish I had some knowledge that everything will be ok when I get out to LA. That I’ll find a job and won’t have to head back to Chicago in 6 months or a year even more broke than I am now and really screwed. Or that I don’t have to resort to working at WalMart and living in the ghetto. Frankly, I’m sick of having to live paycheck-to-paycheck. I’m willing to work hard to get where I need to be, but fuck universe, I’d like something to give back to me for a change.

But the fact of the matter as I look at it is, I need to get out of Madison. Hell, I needed to get out of here in 2008. While I’m glad I got the experience I did working where I’m at now, there’s been more than one time where I’ve felt that the move to Madison was one of the worst things I did. Not only did my relationship completely collapse (ok to be fair, it was pretty much dead before we moved) but my savings account was wiped out in 2009 when we got furloughed and well, because of how damn expensive this city is, my balance sheet hasn’t ever recovered from it.

Ugh. So many issues…so disorganized. Meh. I think it’s bed time. Oh and… Where’s Candace when I need her? I could really use a hug right now.

Tags: Life

My thoughts on “Dating Question: What Is a Man?”

Posted on April 11, 2009 by achernow

So Jessica twittered a link to an article on Yahoo: “Dating Question: What Is a Man?”. I’m reading the article and the first thing that comes to my mind is “hmm… this just seems like it’s going to be one of those strictly stereotypical views on the subject.” Honesty, it is and it isn’t. So let’s break it down. As bad of an example as I may be, let’s compare myself to this article.

Strike one. I don’t carry cash. Well, sometimes I do, but I prefer to use my debit card. It’s for the simple reason of having less cash on you means that there’s less chance of losing it. And really, by using the card you kind of have to think “can I really afford this?” Yeah I know, not the first thing you’d expect to hear, because you know, “I’m a man, men make money, blah blah blah.” I don’t make that much money. It has to be rationed accordingly. Why do you think I drive a *gasp* base model Toyota and don’t have all the flashy new toys?
Strike two. I can’t build or repair shit. Well.. I can build a computer. And I can fix one. But other than that, I’m sort of lost when it comes to the whole “use of tools” that society has deemed I should know. Last time I tried to hang something it ended up being crooked. And to borrow a line from my grandmother, I can’t draw a straight line with a ruler.
And wow, I strike out for the third time, right in the opening paragraph of the article. I can’t ever find anything good on TV. Really, it’s why I don’t watch TV. Wait, what? This coming from the guy who makes his living off, um, TV. No seriously, outside of Dollhouse, Legend of the Seeker, Ghost Hunters and The Simpsons, I really don’t watch TV.
Crap. This is where I run out of strikes. I guess.. Because seriously? Kung-fu? I don’t do kung-fu. I have no desire to kung-fu.
And I’ve never bought “a man is his job.” Yes, I consider myself a television production expert, a newscast director, editor, etc. but those are all career related terms. I’m don’t consider myself to be some sort of domestic diva when I’m cleaning around here. Nor do I even claim to be some sort of race-car driver when I cruising down the Beltline.

On the plus side I can cook eggs. And I’m more than happy to spread knowledge, espcially when it’s related to geeky things, or on the correct ways to make TV. Honestly, at work I’m more than happy to answer the questions the interns have, even as wild of questions as they may be sometimes. I’ve known people in the past who would rather not have anything to do with them.

486 words just off the intro to the list? Crap.

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Tags: Commentary, Geekiness, gender, introspection, Life, man, me, men, myself, random questions

Jonathan Coulton, and Paul & Storm, concert from last night.

Posted on February 28, 2009 by achernow

Well, I don’t win any kind of award, because this is only #2 for me seeing JoCo. As always, it was a good show, allbeit, quite depressing song filled. Thanks twitter. Oh well, what can I say, I did request “Famous Blue Raincoat“. Heh. Yeah, I contributed to that. Thankfully, even though requested, he didn’t play Freebird, or one of the longest songs I think is out there (and actually a good, but equally depressing song), the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Though, after the fact, Dave realized he should have requested “Curl“, and I should have requested “Dance, Soterios Johnson, Dance.” Oh well. It was still a good show. And honestly, people, why do you request things like “Skullcrusher Mountain“, “Still Alive” (end song from Portal, no link, sorry), or “First of May” (song NSFW)? He’ll play those anyway! It’s like asking Rush to play “Tom Sawyer” at one of their shows.

Paul and Storm were the opening band (insert joke here because that’s also their first song.) They also were, at points, JoCo’s back-up band. They’re funny, and even though I gave them a ton of crap on Twitter, I did enjoy that part of the night. Though guys, a new setlist would be helpful. It was the exact same show that I saw last year. New = Good.

Here’s some pictures and a video, all shot with my BlackBerry, so I apologize for the quality: